i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
