When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
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