Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
