she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
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