it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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