i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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