apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
