I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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