i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
