is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
