Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize