Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
