Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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