please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
