im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
