walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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