I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
