Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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