I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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