Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
