he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
