If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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