im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
