I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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