dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I think people are normalizing furries
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
