in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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