these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
