yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
