5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
