I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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