it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
