Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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