just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
