I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
