Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Randomize
