It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
