Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
