She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
