ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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