I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize