he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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