I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize