Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
