apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
