someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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