We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
