Who wears a wallet chain?!
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
He felt like a one man threesome
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
