I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
