Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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