turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
