Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
