Only a mothe r could love this liver
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
