I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
you inspire me to be a worse person
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
we're so committed to being not committed
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize