just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize