What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
