i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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