God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
